Verse 1

Lost my keys to your door

Lost my sense of style

I don’t go out no more

You don’t know me any more

There’s no way through

No comfort on this floor

verse 2:

What a fix I’ve got me in

My ex-best friend says ‘You’re a joke’

And she should know

Lost my sense of style

I don’t go out no more

Lost my keys to your door

chorus:

Cry in my sleep, wake up slow

Close the blinds to the sun, sleep till noon

Dancing with shadows, talking. with thieves,

Who should I believe?

And it’s Dinner for One…

bridge:

Dinner for one, a window seat please

I’ll try and have fun, meat pie and peas

Walking King Street, I just stare

At other people’s shoes going out in pairs.

chorus:

My man brings me flowers

My man walks the dog

My man bakes the brownies

Surfs the waves, mows the lawn

My man castrates poddy calves

My man earns the cash

My man checks the plumbing

Folds the undies ,worms the cat

BUT

Every seven seconds, every seven seconds, every seven (x4)

There's an interesting fact Scientists say

That men think about SEX in a different way!

There's an idea, an urge

A kind of a surge that

whispers come what may!

Every 7 Seconds…..

What does this mean

To the average bloke?

As it twists and turns in his brain?

Can he push it back down?

Can he stand it alone?

Or is he driven insane?

Every 7 Seconds…..

Here’s the reason for my story

On your wedding day

if he makes eyes at the barman

He might turn out to be gay

ABOUT EVERY SEVEN SECONDS

This song was born from the grief of finally realising that my marriage had to be over and there was nothing I could do about it other than continually living with my beloved who was either bisexual or gay. ... after 23 years of marriage. I was trying to understand why a marriage had to end because of sexual urges that did not fit into our previously heterosexual world. I think my question to the counsellor was: ‘ why is sex such a strong drive/need that it would drive you to leave a beautiful family, a loving household, a son and a wife in order to find yourself....? My counsellor was trying to explain to me how consumed human beings are by our sexual selves and how men are different to women in that regard, the fact is that men have more sexual urges anyway than women- indeed every seven seconds a sexual thought enters their minds....

I came out of that session with the words ‘“every seven seconds, every seven seconds every seven”..... it stayed with me until I took my idea to the girls in The Loveys. At first they thought I was being too down on men- and we took out some of the more painful lyrics and smoothed them off a bit- by putting parts of all of our husbands in there, which made it more gentle. At first and for quite a while I found this song hard to sing because of the grief associated with it- but now it feels like a strong healing mechanism each time I perform it. I have had more than one woman in the audience nod to me in sisterhood- we tend to stay in the cupboard with our husbands for quite some time after the big reveal!!. I need to add that my husband helped me write the last lines in this song- so , yes, he has heard me sing it….

Is your life passing you by?

Are you asking yourself why?

Is the man of your dreams

Not what he seems

It's just down to chores by and by?

Are your days dreary and long?

Do you cry at your long forgotten song?

Have you tried to improve

Can’t get in the groove

What, you may ask has gone wrong?

chorus:

Have you got enough:

Swing in your skirt, Sway on your knees

Saunter in your walk,

Say what you please

Fire in your chest , Spark in your life

Courage in your eyes

Hold your head up high

Bridge:

The sheets don't match the shades

The rugs don’t match the chairs

The forks are in the knife drawer

There’s dust on the stairs.

Chorus:

Have you got enough:

Swing in your skirt, Sway on your knees

Saunter in your walk,

Say what you please

Fire in your chest , Spark in your life

Courage in your eyes

Hold your head up high

and swing!

SWING IN YOUR SKIRT

I was shopping one day in a large shopping mall on the Gold Coast where I spotted a skirt that I liked and tried it on. When I came out to look at myself in a larger mirror, the sales girl, who was young and brightly clad said to me “ Has that skirt got enough swing in it for ya??” (I promptly bought it!) I loved the idea of this so much I asked her could I use this phrase in a song- of course she agreed- and so I took it home with me scribbled on an old envelope and pondered what I really wanted to say to myself as a woman in a relationship with the ‘man of my dreams.’ The men of my dreams had not been what they seemed at all - and my problem was not having the courage to speak out about the things that were bothering me. On reflection I was wondering if many women (and men) suffer that same lack of courage in fear of losing love??

The bridge refers to a friend of mine, Melody, who was so terribly fussy in her house, making sure that everything matched properly and who spent an enormous amount of time shopping for the right decor- and who , when she was dying of cancer, told me that her greatest regret was that she spent so much time worrying about just that- how unimportant it was in light of living fully in the present each and every moment.

The dust on the stairs is mine!!

IT’S GREAT BEING OLD

NOTHING LEFT TO PROVE

YOU CAN BE YOURSELF

IF YOU’RE IN THE MOOD

THINK I’LL WRITE A LIST

OF THINGS I WANT TO DO

THEN I’LL SCREW IT UP

AND THROW IT DOWN THE LOO

NO-ONE GIVES A DAMN

‘BOUT THE COLOUR OF MY HAIR

OR THE SIZE ON MY THIGHS

AND MY LARGE DERRIERE!

CHORUS

I LOVE TO SEE MY JEWELLERY

DRIPPING OFF MY BOD

ALL KINDS OF JANGLES

LOOKING KINDA ODD

LIFE’S JUST FULL OF WONDER

I WONDER IF I CAN

MAKE IT UP THE STAIRCASE

CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND??

CHORUS

I LOVE MY OSTEOPOROSIS

IT’S HELPED TO SLOW ME DOWN

AND I JUST LOVE THE WAY

I SLOP THINGS ON MY GOWN

BUT HEY- DON’T TAKE IT LIGHTLY

HOW LUCKY THAT I AM

STILL HERE TO SING

THIS WISTFUL LITTLE RHYME

RETIREMENT RETIREMENT RETIREMENT

IT’S COMING TO A PLACE NEAR YOU!

IT’S AN OLD AGE REQUIREMENT

ROLL UP AND READ THE REVIEW!

IT’S GREAT BEING OLD

NOTHING LEFT TO PROVE

YOU CAN PLAY YOUR UKE

IF YOU’RE IN THE MOOD

I WAS PONDERING OLD AGE ONCE MORE WHEN I WROTE THIS- AND HAD BEEN WORKING WITH CHILDREN (IN AN INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL IN QATAR) TO WRITE A SIMPLE SONG- AFTER THE CLASS I ‘STOLE’ THE CHORDS AND MELODY AND UP CAME THIS LITTLE SONG OF MY OWN. THE JEWELLERY DRIPPING OFF MY BOD IS MY DEAR OLD MOTHER WHO USED TO PUT ALL OF HER JEWELLERY ON EVERY DAY IN HER NURSING HOME.... THE REFERENCE TO OSTEOPOROSIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE- AND THE IDEA OF BEING LUCKY TO STILL BE HERE, IS OF COURSE A REFERENCE TO THE CANCER JOURNEY I HAD ALREADY BEEN ON- I WAS NOT TO KNOW THAT I WAS STILL ON IT WHEN I WROTE THIS…SO I AM DOUBLY LUCKY TO STILL BE HERE TO SING THIS WISTFUL SONG…

I LOVE PERFORMING THIS SONG WITH THE LOVEYS - THEY ADD BEAUTIFUL HARMONIES AND A DELICATE ARRANGEMENT THAT BRINGS A SIMPLE MELODY TO LIFE.

Have I left it too late? Did I blunder along?

Wastin my time, Doin things wrong

I should have been famous

I could have been huge

But I took the wrong path and misspent my youth

Have I left it too late? The years have fled by

Septuagenarian artists are not rated high

I would have been famous

I would have been great

Instead I got married and sealed my fate

Jump jump jump into the net

and it will catch you (catch you)

Jump, jump, jump and you will survive

Jump, jump, jump, your soul will thank you

Creating is the way to stay alive!

I just left it too late I’m telling you now

Don’t hesitate or procrastinate

You will be happy

You will be great

Don’t mess around now Don’t leave it too late

Bridge

Don’t leave it so late ,Don’t leave it too late

Its not too bloody late, its never too late

Your heart will fill up

your life will change

Go on and do it Just one leap of faith

Go on and do it Just one leap of faith

I wrote this song when I reached the grand old age of 70. I had threatened my friends to dare not to throw me a surprise birthday at this milestone or I would kill them all!! So it was on my mind that I only had several more years in which to kick up my heels and show my world and myself all of the talents I carried in this lifetime. I thought about all of the energy I had put into a huge, successful working life and I was wondering what would have been if I had made other choices - especially the choice to become a dancer/performer/singer at a young age instead of a general classroom teacher . I am sure I would have been successful at that as well. The term Septuagenarian Artist really struck a chord with me and I thought about all of us who have stepped into this place, carrying our talents but mostly unable to use them all.

So these words are straight from my heart- I could have been famous- and here I am trying to finish the job of seeing what I am capable of, just in time before I leave this planet. What a thought!!

I was wondering how to arrange this piece, having written the lyrics. I wanted a latin feel but was also thinking of a bluesy kind of feel. Someone said to me ‘Why don’t you do both??’ So here it is, a minor blues with a latin feel- I actually stole some of the chord progression from a Samba piece I was trying to learn in our folk orchestra.